When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

When his lips are shut.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do children think of the world?

I don't know, this is the first time I've logged onto Reddit, today.

Why don't they let Italians swim in Long Island Sound?

If you know that one, try this one: Why do seagulls fly to the dump

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you make a dumb person curious?

I'll tell you tomorrow...

How do you know if someone is a vegetarian?

He is going to tell you.

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

What does the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?

Shut the door im dressing

Why are pigs such early risers?

Did you ever try to shut off a rooster

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why the word redundancy when lawyers say cease and desist?

Billable vowels.

Why did the lawyer go to the tailor?

He wanted a law-suit

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

How did the hipster burn their lips?

They ate the pizza before it was cool

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

Truth Jokes More Truth Jokes

What game is all the rage with the Ferguson rioters?

Truth or Darren Wilson.

Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth?

Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion.