When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

When his lips are shut.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many Democrats does it take to destroy a light bulb?

A: None. They only know how to destroy the taxpayers.

What's the difference between toilet paper and the shower curtain?

So you're the one.... (only if you answered "i don't know")

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you tell a person with two swollen eyes ?

Nothing, you already told 'em twice.

Why did Helen Keller try lsd?

Because she was told it makes you see things!

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

What does Deadpool need?

Someone to merc him shut up.

Which part of your body shuts down last when you die?

The eyes, cause they di-late.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why do you want your lawyer to be a U2 fan?

Cos they're always pro-Bono

Why is it that lawyers get sick?

It's because they are ually obligated to do so.

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

Why didn't Hellen Keller learn to lip-read?

The braille left her lips numb.

How can you tell when a politician is lying?

When their lips move

Truth Jokes More Truth Jokes

What 3 things that tell the truth?

Drunk men. Little children. Yoga pants.

What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio's face?

Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie...