Truth Jokes

What 3 things that tell the truth?

Drunk men. Little children. Yoga pants.

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Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth?

Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion.

What does the Fox say?

The truth is out there.

What game is all the rage with the Ferguson rioters?

Truth or Darren Wilson.

What else did Lochte say after the truth came out?

This did not go swimmingly at all

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.

When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

When his lips are shut.

What game do you play if you don't take care of your teeth?

Tooth (truth) or Consequences.

What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio's face?

Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie...

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We may never know the truth.

Why aren't there any "old husband tales"?

There are. They just get re-branded as "logic" and "the truth".

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Little Child Jokes More Little Child Jokes

What's the difference between Harambe and Michael Jackson?

One was shot for playing with little children.

What 3 things that tell the truth?

Drunk men. Little children. Yoga pants.

Oj Simpson Jokes More Oj Simpson Jokes

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to Alabama?

Everyone has the same DNA.

What's the difference between OJ Simpson and Stephen King?

OJ's truth is stranger than King's fiction.

Li Ion Jokes More Li Ion Jokes

Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth?

Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion.

Why can't you trust a Lithium Ion battery?

Because they're always Li-ion!

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

How do you stop a lawyer from drownng?

Shoot him before he hits the ground

Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

What do you call a collection of research and papers on a child molester?

A pedo file

What kind of root is only easy to find on paper?

A square one.*

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't change it, they just take forever to find where to fit the batteries

How many blondes does it take to... How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

5... 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the chair

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a brick and a blonde?

If you lay a brick it doesn't follow you home.

What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?

A: The car salesman can probably drive!

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What do you do to an elephant with 3 balls?

Walk him and pitch to the rhino.

What do you call a Russian with 3 balls?

Whodyanik Abolokof