Why did the kid punch the bed?

His mother told him to hit the hay.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why is the letter E lazy?

Because it's always in bed.

Why is a restless man in bed like a lawyer?

Because he lies on one side and then turns around and lies on the other one.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What'sApp Me: Mom, what's for dinner?

Mom : typing ... *gets married* *have kids* *gets old* *dies* *goes to hell* Mom: Fish, honey!

What is the difference between michael jackson and a grocery bag?

One is white, plastic, and dangerous for your kids to play with and the other holds your groceries

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did one plant say to the other plant that was annoying him?

Please leaf me alone! Or I'll tell my mom, and you'll get in trouble.

How do you save a suicidal procrastinator?

Tell them it can probably wait 'til tomorrow.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What's the sound of a water truck hitting a vinegar truck?

KAAA DOOOUUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the man hit the fortune teller when she started laughing?

A: He was striking a happy medium.

Punch Jokes More Punch Jokes

How do you break a Pollock's finger?

Punch him in the nose.

What is it called when one punches a stripper?

A hoedown!

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

Why did the mother feed her newborn lamb?

Because it's baby food.

What is the biggest plot twist in spanish soap operas?

When Rodrigo finds out he is his own mother

Hay Jokes More Hay Jokes

Why is hay so unreliable?

It keeps baleing

What is the farmers favorite way to greet someone?

Hay!"