Why did the redditor stand on a piece o...

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How can you tell if it was a shared computer used by many staffers?

A: There is writing on the White-out.

How do snails get their shells all shiny?

They use snail polish.

Banana Jokes More Banana Jokes

What is the difference between a banana and a bell?

You can only peel (peal) the banana once.

What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear ?

Whatever you want, he can't hear you..

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

How long have you been chopping wood for?

I'm not sure, I'll check the logs"

What did the Australian grandmaster say to the banker, when asked what he wanted to exchange?

Check, mate!

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

How can you tell if you're in Detroit or across the river in Windsor Ontario Canada?

Stand in the middle of the street. If someone yells, "hey, get out of the street" you're in the US. If they yell, "get out of the street, eh" you're in Canada

How did he get off?

It wouldn't stand up in court

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

How did the Redditor get stuck in a loop?

I don't know, check the post above me.

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?

Thank you I'll just have a slither.

What piece of bedding can also be known as a Mexican blanket?

the underlay! underlay!

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

How do you do it?

Me- "It's easy, I just gain weight."

How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

Why did the fruit leave office?

because he was imPEACHED! lol. i hate myself.

What did the vegatable say to the fruit?

Turnip

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

How does a fish always know how much they weigh?

Because they have their own scales!

How much do you love kids?

On a scale from Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky, how much do you love kids?