Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar douche?

Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

What do you call an outdated joke that, while sharp, has little potential for laughs?

I used to know, but then I took an arrow to the knee

Banana Jokes More Banana Jokes

What did the Banana say to the Monkey?

Yo You peel me

What did the banana peel say when asked what happens after it's thrown into the compost pile?

IDK, i'm just a banana.

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

What did the feminist Jedi say to Darth Tyrannus?

Check your Force privileges, Sith Lord!"

How can a blind person tell if they're home?

They check the architexture.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why is that Bono still hasn't found what he's looking for?

Because he's always standing by The Edge.

Why does the Asian News Anchor not stand up from behind his desk during presidential races?

because he's covering an erection!

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

How many redditors does it take to get a joke?

Three. One to get the punchline, and one to point out the math is wrong.

What do you call a troupe of performing Redditors?

Cirque le Jerk

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

How do you know a gypsy woman is pregnant?

You put a piece of wire in her and if you feel pulling she is indeed pregnant.

What do you call two homeless people hitting each other with pieces of cardboard?

A pillow fight

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

Why can't you lift weights on Monday?

It's a week day.

How do fireflies lose weight?

They burn calories.

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

How did the fruits get married?

They Cantaeloped!

What fruit did Hillary grind up in her juicer?

13 blackberries and 5 apples

Scale Jokes More Scale Jokes

How german are you on a scale on 1-10?

Do you even have a permit for this survey?!

Why are fish easy to weigh?

Because they have their own scales.