Why do police officers sleep with two rocks near their bed?

With one he turns off the light, With the other he checks if the window is closed

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How long does Charlie Sheen last in bed?

Two and a half minutes.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

How do you make a cat go "woof"?

Douse it with petrol and toss a lit match. WOOF!

What's stronger, fifty watts of sound or fifty watts of light?

I don't care but would you please stop screaming, turning the lights on and off.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What's the similarity between Bruce Jenner and a Pharaoh?

At some point they turned into Mummys

What did the light bulb say to the switch?

You turn me on."

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?

A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.

What do monkeys sleep on?

Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

What do you have to use to check a test on Telemarketing?

A Scamtron.

How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Uh...standby I'll check on that.

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

Why can't you fart in an apple car?

It doesn't have windows.

What ever happened to Windows 9?

Windows 7 8 9.

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

What would the punishment be for smoking a joint in the times of Jesus Christ?

You would get stoned. And then get rocks thrown at you.

What was the geologists' favorite Musical genere?

rock

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

Why does a blond wear a tight skirt?

To keep here legs closed.

What makes a Mexican saddest about the rise of ebooks?

The closing of the Borders.

Police Officer Jokes More Police Officer Jokes

Why was the Police Officer still in bed?

Because he was .

What video game system do police officers play in their cars?

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U...