Bond Mature Jokes

Whats the difference between a man and a government bond?

The bond matures.

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What's the difference between a government bond and a man?

The bond matures.*

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Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What do you call an unfinished inflow of money?

Incomplete.

How much money do terrible movies make?

Ridley Scott. Thank you.

Guitar Player Jokes More Guitar Player Jokes

How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten: one to screw it in and nine to say, "Pssh, I can do that."

What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?

Eventually the savings bond will mature and begin to earn money.

Mature Jokes More Mature Jokes

What is a Mature man who likes young women?

An Inmate

What's the difference between a millennial and a mutual fund?

A mutual fund will eventually mature and make money

Earn Jokes More Earn Jokes

What must a vampire earn to learn to fly?

His red wings.

Why did the scarecrow earn a promotion?

Because it was outstanding in its field

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why did the Sudanese boy get arrested in Texas?

I'm not exactly sure, but it was about time.

What do you give and take at the same time?

a poop

Begin Jokes More Begin Jokes

Why is a racehorse like a letter?

They both begin a trip at the post!

What begins with E, ends with E, and has one letter?

envelope

Bond Jokes More Bond Jokes

What is 007's favorite subject at school?

Chemistry, because he knows a lot about bonds!

What do a marriage and superglue have in common?

They both form a bond in seconds, last (ideally) forever, and are dissolved by alcohol.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between an American student and an English student ?

About 3000 miles !

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Lamborghini?

The pricks are on the outside of a porcupine