Bond Mature Jokes

Whats the difference between a man and a government bond?

The bond matures.

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What's the difference between a government bond and a man?

The bond matures.*

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Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What's the difference between Politicians and Thieves?

Thief: They steal your money then run Politician: They run and then steal your money

Why did Lamar give money to Kobe?

Because Lamar Odom

Bond Jokes More Bond Jokes

How did Metallica get their band name?

They Bonded over lunch.

What did the super spy polyatomic ion say when he walked into the bar?

The name's Bond, Covalent Bond

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How many roads must a man walk?

42

Why does a man only get half-hour lunch-breaks?

So his boss doesn't have to retrain him.

Earn Jokes More Earn Jokes

What's the stupidest, most useless comment that can still earn you some karma?

This

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver

Mature Jokes More Mature Jokes

What's the difference between a drummer and publicly traded stock?

Publicly traded stock will mature and make money.

How can you tell if you have a mature or an immature sense of humor?

poop.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why did the idiot have his sundial floodlit ?

So he could tell the time at night !

Why should you be sure to pay your exorcist on time?

You wouldn't want to get repossessed!

Government Bond Jokes More Government Bond Jokes

What's the difference between men and government bonds?

Bonds mature.

Whats the difference between a man and a government bond?

The bond matures.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Ray Charles and Ray Rice?

Ray Charles wasn't a one-hit wonder.

What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

My girlfriend knows about my wife.