Government Bond Jokes

Whats the difference between a man and a government bond?

The bond matures.

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What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds?

Government bonds mature over time and earn money

What's the difference between a government bond and a man?

The bond matures.*

What's the difference between men and government bonds?

Bonds mature.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time does Sean Connery get to the US Open?

Ten-ish

When is the only time a Muslim bets?

When there is a prophet involved.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between seal hunters and teenagers?

There's none, both like clubbing.

What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?

One trains the mind the other minds the train.

Bond Jokes More Bond Jokes

What's the difference between men and government bonds?

Bonds mature.

How did Metallica get their band name?

They Bonded over lunch.

Earn Jokes More Earn Jokes

What do you call a capitalist Bernie Sanders?

Earning Sanders.

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How many hillbillies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2. A man, his wife, and his cousin

What did the man say to his big breasted ex-wife?

Thanks for the mammaries.

Mature Jokes More Mature Jokes

How can you tell if you have a mature or an immature sense of humor?

poop.

What's the difference between a drummer and publicly traded stock?

Publicly traded stock will mature and make money.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What did the poor composer say to his friend?

I am baroque, can you lend me some money?

Where's the best place to hide money from a Mexican?

Under a bar of soap.

Bond Mature Jokes More Bond Mature Jokes

What's the difference between a government bond and a man?

The bond matures.*

Whats the difference between a man and a government bond?

The bond matures.