Capitalist Jokes

What do capitalists and conspiracy theorists have in common?

They are both controlled by little green men.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What do you get when you mix a communist and a capitalist?

Bernie sanders

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Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix free running with golf?

Parfour Sorry

What happens when you mix pandas and ammonium?

Pandemonium breaks out.

Ussr Jokes More Ussr Jokes

Who's there ! Bjork ! Bjork who ?

Bjork in the USSR !

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

Bernie Jokes More Bernie Jokes

Why does Bernie know he'll win the elections?

Because his good friend Nostradamus told him he would.

Whats the most stupid thing you've seen a Bernie Sanders supporter do?

Vote for Bernie in a primary.

Little Green Man Jokes More Little Green Man Jokes

What do capitalists and conspiracy theorists have in common?

They are both controlled by little green men.

What do little green men do to stay in shape?

They do Yoda.

Profiterole Jokes More Profiterole Jokes

What's a businessman's favourite dessert?

Profiteroles!

What's a capitalist's favourite dessert?

PROFITeroles. Bad, I know.

Earn Jokes More Earn Jokes

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver

What do you call a capitalist Bernie Sanders?

Earning Sanders.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh, it's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it.

How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to hold the light bulb and two to spin the ladder."

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why's it so hard to find marathon and triathlon reviews in Germany?

Well, you know what happened last time they picked a race...

What is the definition of stalking?

When two people takes a long, romantic walk on the beach, but only one of them knows about it