Colleague Jokes

Why does Hannibal Lecter skin his colleagues?

He enjoys the taste of Doctors Without Borders.

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What did the perverted scientist say to his colleague?

If you need me, I'll be in my Lab.

What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?

Hope you fell better tomorrow.

Why did Einstein refuse to help people fix their cars?

Because his colleagues would call him the Quantum Mechanic.

What did the Headless Horseman ask his colleague at Bad Guys Inc.?

What do I have to do to get ahead around here?

What does a Mexican carpet fitter say to motivate his colleagues?

Underlay! Underlay!

What did the lead researcher say when all of her colleagues were complaining about the experiment?

I don't care et al."

Why didn't the scientist tell his colleague the t-value of a test with 21 degrees of freedom and a p-value of 5%?

It was a t-crit! Thank you and goodnight!

What did the scientist say after attacking his colleague with sodium chloride?

That's a salt!

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Care Jokes More Care Jokes

Why do Chinese only care about themselves?

Because they have no i's (plural of i). Edit: eyes. Eyes guys. It's a bad pun.

Why didn't anyone care about the circus?

Because it was irr-elephant

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

How did the Idiot break his arm while raking leaves?

He fell out of the tree.

What's the difference between a small child and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many girlfriend does a white boy need to shoot a school?

None.

Why doesn't Superman need a boss?

OC) He already has supervision.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do a blonde and a car have in common?

A: They can both drive you crazy.

How do you make a car top?

You gotta 'tep on the brake 'tupid!

Motivate Jokes More Motivate Jokes

What does a Mexican carpet fitter say to motivate his colleagues?

Underlay! Underlay!

What did the philosophically-wise Mongol general say to motivate himself?

I'm not Immanuel Kant. I'm Genghis Kahn!

Taste Jokes More Taste Jokes

What does a 90 year old woman taste like?

Depends.

What happened when the cannibal ate a minister?

He got a taste of religion.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why did the Afgahni get burnt lips?

Because he tried to blow up a bus.

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

Why couldn't the physicist get his paper published?

It was a work of friction.

What did the physicist say to the suicidal guy on the bridge?

Don't do it! You have potential!