Cruise Jokes

What is Tom's favorite kind of joyride?

A cruise

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Why don't black people ever go on cruises?

We're not falling for that one again!

What airline allows you to pee in cruise?

Wizz Air

Why did Katie Holmes get rid of her fancy car?

She got tired of all that Cruise control.

Why didn't the pig have to pay for drinks on the cruise?

A: It was all-oink-lusive.

What do you call a group of zombies watching The Sixth Sense while on a cruise?

High Seas Dead People

Why is it that you never see a black person on a cruise?

They're not falling for that one again..

What do you call a line dancer on a cruise?

A. An Ocean "Liner"

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday?

Cruising on a clipper.

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Who's there ! Alligator ! Alligator who ?

Alligator for her birthday was a card !

Why shouldn't you play cards in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs!

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Why did Katie Holmes divorce Tom Cruise?

She heard he was in a few good men.

Why did Katie Holmes get rid of her fancy car?

She got tired of all that Cruise control.

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What about a Walking Dead situation where she's a zombie?

Then I can bang other chicks "

What's the difference between a zombie and a redneck?

One is a brainless, dirty, slow moving abomination, and the other is a zombie.

Midget Jokes More Midget Jokes

What do you call a budget that's cut short from the middle?

A midget.

What's the difference between a midget and a dwarf?

Little.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

How do you make a cat sounds like a dog?

Douse it in gasoline and set it on fire. !

What do you call a dog with no back legs and metal balls?

Sparky

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk?

A dead bird.

Why did the witch wear a green felt pointed hat?

So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen.

Tom Jokes More Tom Jokes

Who ate those tomatoes?

Tom ate those.

What did the banana say to the elephant?

Nick: I don't know. Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

How do you play Iraqi bingo?

F18...B52...F18

Why are hamburgers essential to football?

Because the game is played on a griddle-iron!