Exorcise Jokes

How do you exorcise a demon?

Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups

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How do Catholic church priests stay healthy?

They exorcise.

What happens if you don't pay the priest who exorcises your house?

He'll re-possess it

What do you call the ghost of a dessert-chef who returns no matter how many times they're exorcised?

A boo-meringue

What do you do to get rid of an obese demon?

You exorcise him.

How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.

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House Jokes More House Jokes

Why did Walter White not pay for his pizza?

Because it was on the house.

Which pig is she?

Me: What do you mean 4: Is her house made of bricks or sticks

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What do you call a Mustard that keeps remembering things that haven't happened yet?

dijon-vu mustard... (Sorry)

What happens when skin touches skin, hair touches hair, and Balls Disappear?

Answer: You Blink Your Eyes.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

Why do you need patience at the gym?

Because there is a lot of weighting. *sorry. i woke up at 2 am with this in my head.

How does the Terminator lose weight?

By counting Kylereese.

Priest Jokes More Priest Jokes

What did the priest announce before he went for a bath?

Speak now or forever hold your pee!"

What's it called when a priest is always late?

Collared people's time

Lap Jokes More Lap Jokes

How do you exorcise a demon?

Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups

How many countries' flags make an appearance at every auto race in the world?

Two. Libya's to start the race, and France's to signal there's one lap to go.

Diet Jokes More Diet Jokes

Why are all these Juice fad diets so popular?

Because Juice control the media

What is the difference between rat poison and diet coke?

Diet coke has better advertising.

Obese Jokes More Obese Jokes

What do you call an obese psychic that works at a bank?

A four chin teller

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why wouldn't the piglet's mother let her read romantic novels?

She was afraid her daughter would run away with a wolf.

What do you call a race run by baristas?

A **decaf**alon