Exorcise Jokes

How do you exorcise a demon?

Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups

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How do Catholic church priests stay healthy?

They exorcise.

What happens if you don't pay the priest who exorcises your house?

He'll re-possess it

What do you call the ghost of a dessert-chef who returns no matter how many times they're exorcised?

A boo-meringue

What do you do to get rid of an obese demon?

You exorcise him.

How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.

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What did the Metis people think of the look on Stephen Harper's face when he lost the election?

They though it was Riel funny!

What kind of cheese is best to watch Lost with?

Smoked Muenster.

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Why did the man that drank 10 cups of poisoned Lipton not die?

He drank so much poison it built his immuni-tea.

Why is Microsoft coming out with a windows 10 instead of 9?

Because 7 8 9

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What is the difference between a Lannister and a Greek?

A Greek never pays his debts.

How much money does the Government pay people with autistic disorder?

Enough to buy a computer that can play League of Legends.

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Why dont Demons fear oxidation?

Because there's no rust for the wicked

Why did the demon get arrested?

Posession

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What do you do to get rid of an obese demon?

You exorcise him.

How do you get rid of an obese demon?

You exercise it.

Ghost Jokes More Ghost Jokes

Why are ghosts banned from the liquor store?

They would steal all the boos.

Where do ghosts go for their holidays?

The Dead Sea.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What do you call Usain bolt when he's running from a lion?

Fast food

Which horse runs the city?

The mare, of course

Rid Jokes More Rid Jokes

Why did Caitlyn Jenner have a differently spelled version of Caitlin?

Because she can't get rid of the Y chromosome

How do we get rid of Ebola?

Put all the infected on a Malaysian Airplane