Rid Jokes

How does a mathematician get rid of constipation?

He works it out with a pencil.

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach

How did the grandpa get rid of his sweet tooth?

He took out his dentures!

How to you get rid of the dandelions on your lawn?

Paint one of them black the others will move away.

Why did Loki want the tesseract?

to get rid of his tesserection

How do you get rid of a Reddit admin?

Chooter

How do you get rid of chewing gum in your hair?

Cancer :)

Why did Caitlyn Jenner have a differently spelled version of Caitlin?

Because she can't get rid of the Y chromosome

How do you get rid of pubic lice?

Seriously, it is not a joke. I really want to know.

How do cops get rid of flies?

They call in a S.W.A.T. team

How do you get rid of an obese demon?

You exercise it.

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What's the difference between a kid and a cat?

Who has the diploma when you get rid of them.

How do you get rid of an itch?

Start from scratch.

How do you get rid of somebody?

Give them a ticket for a flight on Malaysian Airlines and hope that they will live up to their reputation!

What happened when Canada got rid of the penny?

Canadians became *penniless*

What the hell are you doing?

America: Getting rid of u

Why are oil miners and police men mortal enemies?

One brings black stuff and the other gets rid of it

Why did Katie Holmes get rid of her fancy car?

She got tired of all that Cruise control.

Why did ginny make harry get rid of his invisibility cloak?

He kept coming out of no where

How can one get rid of the echo while playing a movie?

Get some furniture

What's the best kind of cream... ...to get rid of spots and bug bites?

Creamation.

What do you get if you cross a skunk with a boomerang?

A: A nasty smell that you can't get rid of.

What shape gets rid of curses?

A hexagon

What do you do to get rid of an obese demon?

You exorcise him.

How do we get rid of Ebola?

Put all the infected on a Malaysian Airplane

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Mozart Jokes More Mozart Jokes

What does Mozart put on his front lawn?

Metrognomes

What's Mozart doing?

decomposing.

Chew Jokes More Chew Jokes

What chews on trees and sings?

Justin Beaver

What is the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

Bach Jokes More Bach Jokes

Why did Bach have to sell his organ?

A: Because he was baroque.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when invited to the musician themed costume party?

I'll be Bach

Caitlin Jokes More Caitlin Jokes

Why can Kylie Jenner see right through Caitlin?

She's trans-parent.

Why did Caitlyn Jenner have a differently spelled version of Caitlin?

Because she can't get rid of the Y chromosome

Reddit Admin Jokes More Reddit Admin Jokes

What do Steam users and Reddit admins have in common?

They don't want to pay for mods.

What did the Reddit admins do for Christmas?

removed

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

How did Mr Cheese paint his wife?

He Double Gloucester.

What do communists do on May Day?

Paint the town red.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why are Canadians given only a half hour for lunch?

They don't want to have to retrain them.

What does a guy drink when he wants to go out with a girl?

DATERADE

Loki Jokes More Loki Jokes

Why does Thor have insomnia?

He's up all night to get Loki.

Why is Thors bother so secretive?

Because he tries to keep things Loki...