Rid Jokes

How does a mathematician get rid of constipation?

He works it out with a pencil.

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach

How did the grandpa get rid of his sweet tooth?

He took out his dentures!

How to you get rid of the dandelions on your lawn?

Paint one of them black the others will move away.

Why did Loki want the tesseract?

to get rid of his tesserection

How do you get rid of a Reddit admin?

Chooter

How do you get rid of chewing gum in your hair?

Cancer :)

Why did Caitlyn Jenner have a differently spelled version of Caitlin?

Because she can't get rid of the Y chromosome

How do you get rid of pubic lice?

Seriously, it is not a joke. I really want to know.

How do cops get rid of flies?

They call in a S.W.A.T. team

How do you get rid of an obese demon?

You exercise it.

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What's the difference between a kid and a cat?

Who has the diploma when you get rid of them.

How do you get rid of an itch?

Start from scratch.

How do you get rid of somebody?

Give them a ticket for a flight on Malaysian Airlines and hope that they will live up to their reputation!

What happened when Canada got rid of the penny?

Canadians became *penniless*

What the hell are you doing?

America: Getting rid of u

Why are oil miners and police men mortal enemies?

One brings black stuff and the other gets rid of it

Why did Katie Holmes get rid of her fancy car?

She got tired of all that Cruise control.

Why did ginny make harry get rid of his invisibility cloak?

He kept coming out of no where

How can one get rid of the echo while playing a movie?

Get some furniture

What's the best kind of cream... ...to get rid of spots and bug bites?

Creamation.

What do you get if you cross a skunk with a boomerang?

A: A nasty smell that you can't get rid of.

What shape gets rid of curses?

A hexagon

What do you do to get rid of an obese demon?

You exorcise him.

How do we get rid of Ebola?

Put all the infected on a Malaysian Airplane

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

A: Because he's Haydn!

What will reddit never know?

Victoria's Secret...

Reddit Jokes More Reddit Jokes

What Happened when Feminist's found out about Reddit?

Well they deleted

What do you call it when you think deeply about something you just saw on reddit?

Redditation. I am so sorry... that was horrible.

Y Chromosome Jokes More Y Chromosome Jokes

Why did Caitlyn Jenner have a differently spelled version of Caitlin?

Because she can't get rid of the Y chromosome

How do you tell X chromosomes from Y chromosomes?

You pull down their genes.

Cop Jokes More Cop Jokes

How many calls do I get?

cop: one me: What do you think is more likely a lawyer delivering pizza or a dominos providing legal counsel

How do I know ur not a cop?

If I was a cop would I do this " *Starts break dancing* That's not as much proof as you think it is

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What fun drink can put your kid to sleep?

Bleach

Why do Puerto ricans have so many kids?

Because pulling out is work!!!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between my ex girlfriend and ebola?

At least Ebola will finish me off

What's the difference between a midget and a dwarf?

Little.

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What is the difference between a dog and a viola?

A: The dog knows when to stop scratching.

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Itch Jokes More Itch Jokes

How to fleas travel ?

Itch hiking !

Why does a girls rub her eyes in the morning?

A. Because they don't have balls to itch.