Gnome Jokes

What do you call a gnome who dresses nice?

A metronome!

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What do you get when you cross Gnomes and Worgen??

Micro-Worgenisms! (From my Bizzard support ticket response today.)

How many gnomes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just the two, really. Or as many as will fit, if theyre feeling frisky.

What's the difference between a gnome and an elf?

Gnomenclature.

How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.

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What kind of tea does a house drink?

Propertea

What kind of nuts go on a carrot cake?

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How many absurdists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Yarn.

How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.

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What do you call a city-dwelling dwarf that keeps perfect time?

A metro-gnome

What's the perfect time to go to the dentist?

Two thirty.

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Why is Jesus never able to finish more than half of a crossword puzzle?

He always gets stuck on across.

What do you call a man with a shovel stuck in his head?

An ambulance because that is a serious medical emergency that requires immediate attention.

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What does Mozart put on his front lawn?

Metrognomes

What do you call a punctual urban garden gnome?

A metrognome.

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What is the difference between homeless people and feminists?

Sometimes the homeless get change.

What's the difference between your mom and a drug dealer?

Your mom can wash her crack and re-sell it.

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

Why is Toblerone shaped like a triangle?

To fit in the box.

What's the difference between Americans and ice cream?

Ice cream fits in a tub.

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What did the midget give her boyfriend after his concert?

A Standing Blow-vation.

Why do midgets not wear tampons?

They might trip on the string.