Gnome Jokes

What do you call a gnome who dresses nice?

A metronome!

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What do you get when you cross Gnomes and Worgen??

Micro-Worgenisms! (From my Bizzard support ticket response today.)

How many gnomes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just the two, really. Or as many as will fit, if theyre feeling frisky.

What's the difference between a gnome and an elf?

Gnomenclature.

How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.

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Metro Gnome Jokes More Metro Gnome Jokes

What do you call a fashionable lawn statue with an excellent sense of rhythmn?

A metro-gnome

What do you call a city-dwelling dwarf that keeps perfect time?

A metro-gnome

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

A pear. P.s. got this joke in a cracker. If anybody gets it can you please explain it. My family is stumped.

What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness?

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

How do you fit an elephant in a thimble?

You take the "I" out of "thimble" and the "F" out of "way."

What's the hardest part about cooking a vegetable?

Fitting the wheelchair in the oven.

Transplant Jokes More Transplant Jokes

What do you call a human that's now a cactus?

A transplant.

What does a redneck garden gnome hate more than anything?

Transplants

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why such hate on Lance Armstrong?

I think his riding style is pretty dope.

Why do redditors hate Ellen Pao as CEO?

It was the Wong choice

Tooth Jokes More Tooth Jokes

What do you get when you put 20 Meth Heads in 1 room?

A full set of teeth

What's the easiest way to make a homeless person bleed?

Brush their teeth!

One Jokes More One Jokes

What kind of donuts did Bob Marley prefer?

The ones with Jam in

What's the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker?

Ones a snack cracker and the others a crack snacker.

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

How do you make a baby drink?

A: Stick it in the blender.

Why are giraffes such good friends?

They are always willing to stick their neck out for you.