Hem Jokes

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

Where are you going?

Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

How do Jazz musicians drink their liquor?

Straight, No Chaser.

Who makes a drinking sound like this makes drinking sound?

GEORGE GRASHINGTON!

Length Jokes More Length Jokes

What do men and Subway have in common?

They both exaggerate the length.

Why did the bad demon burn after finding the length it took to rise diagonally from hell?

cos' sin tans

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What do you call pants that can fly?

Peter Pants I just made it up

What does an helicopter and pants have in common?

They both moust go down in emergency.

Shorten Jokes More Shorten Jokes

What's the United States favorite brand of shortening?

San Fran Crisco

What do you do when your wife is blocking view of the TV?

Go to the kitchen and shorten her chain.

Pub Jokes More Pub Jokes

What do you call an aardvark that's been thrown out of a pub?

A barredvark!

Why would Bart Simpson never go to a pub?

Because there's a BartEnder there.

Tailor Jokes More Tailor Jokes

Why did the German get their tailor and their barber mixed up?

They call their tailor Herr Dresser

What did the tailor say to the fed up customer?

Suit yourself.

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What do we call the process which usually happens after a company deliberately sells a misleading product to its customers?

DLC.

Why did the customer slap the cashier?

Because he was checking her out.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why is it hard for Arab men to have a guy's night out?

They have to find babysitters for their wives.

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!