Herb Jokes

Why did the guy spend the entire day throwing out his surplus of herbs?

He had too much thyme on his hands.

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What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs?

Well, this was a waste of Thyme."

What do you call an avid gardener?

Herb

Why do Americans just ignore the "H" in "Herb"?

Honestly, no idea!

What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs?

A thyme machine.

What do you call a chef who's stingy with herbs?

PARSLEYMONIOUS

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Ruin Jokes More Ruin Jokes

What does a black man and a tornado have in common?

It only takes one to ruin a neighborhood.

What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

Computer Disk Drive Jokes More Computer Disk Drive Jokes

What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs?

A thyme machine.

Why are you pushing garlic into the computer's disk drive?

Pupil: To keep vampires off the Internet Teacher: But there aren't any vampires on the Internet Pupil: See It works doesn't it

Soup Jokes More Soup Jokes

What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?

I can roast chicken but I can't pea soup

Why do waiters prefer elephants to flies?

Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant in their soup .

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What did the mayonnaise say to the man opening the fridge door?

Don't look. I'm dressing."

Who do you think I am?

Some sort of karate expert I can't even open a Cheetos bag.

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

How many kittens can you stuff into a microwave for 15 minutes on defrost...?

SEVEN.

What do you call a dog that goes through your stuff?

Snoop dog.

Waste Jokes More Waste Jokes

What does Reddit and Dating have in common?

It wastes your time and you walk away with either tears or a slight chuckle.

What is it called when a bunch of people, all under 5'2", go to a raging party?

High wasted shorts!

Ignore Jokes More Ignore Jokes

Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3?

He was blowing off Steam

Why was the Polaroid fanfiction ignored by the photography community?

Because it wasn't Canon.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How many Saiyans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one... But it takes 4 episodes and Krillin dies...

Why are cemeteries surrounded with walls?

Because people are dying to get in there.