Herb Jokes

Why did the guy spend the entire day throwing out his surplus of herbs?

He had too much thyme on his hands.

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What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs?

Well, this was a waste of Thyme."

What do you call an avid gardener?

Herb

Why do Americans just ignore the "H" in "Herb"?

Honestly, no idea!

What do you get if you stuff your computer's disk drive with herbs?

A thyme machine.

What do you call a chef who's stingy with herbs?

PARSLEYMONIOUS

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Soup Jokes More Soup Jokes

Why did the pro football player from the last-place team drop pieces of hamburger into his soup?

He wanted to know how it felt to take part in a Soup-er Bowl!

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What's the difference between a golfball and a woman's 'G' spot?

A man will actually spend 20 minutes looking for a golfball... Alternative punchline: Man can actually hit a golfball...

How much did Adidas spend in advertising at the World Cup this year?

At least a brazillion dollars...

Thyme Jokes More Thyme Jokes

Why is the Doctor an excellent chef?

He's a Thyme Lord

What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs?

Well, this was a waste of Thyme."

Stuff Jokes More Stuff Jokes

Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art?

Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"

When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would the hulk do?

Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!

Satan Jokes More Satan Jokes

Why do dyslexic children get nothing for Christmas?

They are writing to Satan.

What is Satan's favorite headset?

S810.

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

Why did the woman turn to her husband and say "now who the hell would dump such a nice sofa out here in the woods?

She was looking at a bear and thought it was a sofa due to the four legs.

How the hell can ya be so stupid?

Jessie: Well it ain't somethin' yew can pick up overnight.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why do cannibals hate Pentecostals?

Because they're always throwing up their hands.

Why did Steve hate being the youngest clone?

Because all his genes were hand me downs.

Plaice Jokes More Plaice Jokes

What's the difference between a flatfish and a good woman?

The fish doesn't know it's plaice.

What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend ?

Your plaice or mine' !