Lesbian Jokes

How do know a job's been done by a lesbian carpenter?

There are no nails, and no screws, it's all tongue and groove!

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What do you call a lesbian with huge thumbs?

Well-endowed. http://img487.imageshack.us/img487/3628/ellenplaidshirt022ex9.jpg

What do you call a lesbian platypus?

A lickalotapus

What did the lesbian pirate say to her peg legged girlfriend?

Scissor me timbers

How do you view lesbian relationships?

1080p

What do you call a lesbian with long finger nails?

Single*.

What is the difference between a Ritz and a lesbian?

A Ritz is a snack cracker and a lesbian is a crack snacker

What's the difference between a walrus and a lesbian?

One smells like fish and has a mustache, and the other is a walrus.

What is said at the conclusion of a lesbian marriage ceremony?

You may fist the bride

Why was the lesbian nervous about her first trip to China?

All the dongs.

Why do lesbians like radishes?

Because they like to get their daikon.

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What kind of bars do lesbian Eskimos go to?

Klondike Bars

Where do twin lesbians party?

Klondike Bar

Hoe Jokes More Hoe Jokes

What do you call a Canadian pimp?

Jose (hoes eh?)

What did Santa say when he went to a brothel?

Hoe hoe hoe!

Lesbian Bullfrog Jokes More Lesbian Bullfrog Jokes

What did 1 lesbian bullfrog say to the other lesbian bullfrog?

They're right we do taste like chicken!

What did one lesbian bullfrog say to the other lesbian bullfrog?

They're right! We do taste like chicken!

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What language does robot Marco run on?

Rubio on rails

How can you tell if somebody's run a marathon?

Wait 15 seconds, they'll tell you.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do Jaqen H'ghar from Game of Thrones and Christina Aguilera have in common?

They both know "what a girl wants" and "what a girl needs".

How do you know that the Invisible Man doesn't have any children?

Because he's not apparent.

Snack Cracker Jokes More Snack Cracker Jokes

What is the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?

One is a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.

What is the difference between a Ritz and a lesbian?

A Ritz is a snack cracker and a lesbian is a crack snacker

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

The first is a super hero, the second is a simple command.

What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years?

Second gear.

Scissor Jokes More Scissor Jokes

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one, except she scissors it in.

Why does it take 10 women with premenstrual tension to change a light bulb?

IT JUST DOES, OK JERK !!!! NOW SHUT UP OR I WILL STAB YOU WITH THE SCISSORS!