Marshmallow Jokes

Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow?

So that he didn't fall in the hot cocoa.

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Why was the marshmallow stuck to the tree?

It was taped.

What is the difference between camping and being homeless?

Marshmallows

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!

Why can you trust chocolate but not marshmallow?

Because chocolate doesn't make a peep.

How many marshmallows does it take to get to the moon?

Purple, there are no bones in ice cream!

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Freedom Jokes More Freedom Jokes

Why is Reddit the best place for freedom of speech?

removed

Why can't you tell knock knock jokes about freedom?

Because freedom rings

Snowden Jokes More Snowden Jokes

Why does the NSA hate winter?

Because they're not used to getting Snowden. (I'll see myself out)

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

Accord Jokes More Accord Jokes

How Many Russians Does It Take To Invade Crimea?

None according to the Russians.

What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion?

An Accordion. ...I'll, uh, see myself out.

Moon Jokes More Moon Jokes

Why didn't the astronauts stay on the moon?

Because it was a full moon and there was no room.

Which one do you think is closer, Florida or the Moon?

The other blonde says, "Well duh! You can't see Florida from here."

Chocolate Jokes More Chocolate Jokes

What do you call it when a Physics Teacher throws a bar of chocolate at you?

Brownian Motion

What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?

Life is like a box of chocolates...

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear down from a tree?

Camembert!

What do you call a tree that protects Gotham City?

Spruce Wayne

Treason Jokes More Treason Jokes

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!

Whats the difference between a Russian garbanzo bean and a Russian chickpea?

A president has never been blackmailed into treason over a video of him paying to have a Russian garbanzo bean on his face.

Little Chicken Jokes More Little Chicken Jokes

Why didn't the Marshmallow Peep cross the road on Easter?

Because it was a little chicken.

Why did the easter egg hide?

A: Because it was a little chicken on the inside.