Medal Jokes

How does a paralympian call home, after winning a medal?

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Why does Mexico never wins any medals at the Olympic Games?

Because everyone who runs, swims, or jump really well is already across the border.

Why does Mexico rarely wins medals at the olympic games?

All the ones who can run/swim/jump already made it to America.

What kind of dog wears a uniform and medals ?

A guard dog !

Why hasn't Mexico won any medals in the Olympics?

Because all the Mexicans who can swim well, jump high and run fast are in the United States.

Why doesn't Mexico ever win any medals in the Olympics?

Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border.

Whats better than winning a medal at the paralympics?

A pair of legs.

How does North Korea only have four medals so far?

We're the best at everything. We even fed our athletes this time.

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What's the only thing better than a gold medal at the Paralympics?

Legs

What did Ryan Lochte name his Gold medal?

GoldiLochtes

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's the difference between a good joke and a woman?

The good joke doesn't get a black eye when you tell it a second time.

What happens if you see twin witches?

You won't be able to tell witch witch is witch.

Morty Jokes More Morty Jokes

What happens when you combine Rick & Morty with a Solar Flare?

You get Solar Morty and WOOOoooooo!

What do you call a Rick and Morty fan with a bronze medal?

Thirdperson.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What'd you do this weekend?

I was shooting craps. "Oh you went to a casino " *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah.

Why did the photographer get arrested?

He was charged with shooting kids and framing the parents.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin ?

There was some money in the kitty !

What happens when two girl rabbits really like each other?

Bunnylingus!

Lochte Jokes More Lochte Jokes

Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"

Usa Jokes More Usa Jokes

What's the difference between a USB and the USA?

One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, the other is a harware standard.

What was the precursor to USB?

USA

America Jokes More America Jokes

How many liberals does it take to defend America?

Nobody knows, they've never tried.

Why Can't America tell knock knock jokes?

Cause' freedom RINGS!