Mrs. Claus Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

because Santa came early! I'll let myself out.

What is Santa saying to Mrs. Claus right now?

I told you it would rain, dear.

What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?

Looks like rein dear"

What do you call Santa's wife?

Mrs Claus. I'll see myself out.

What does Santa call it when Mrs. Claus gives him road head?

Getting sleighed.

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Early Year Jokes More Early Year Jokes

Why was it easier for the whistleblower to leave American soil earlier in the year?

It didn't Snowden.

Why was Mrs. Clause's stocking full on December 21st?

Because Santa came early this year.

Rein Jokes More Rein Jokes

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?

Looks like rein dear"

Why are clouds like jockeys?

Because they hold the reins!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What does Batman's mum shout when it's time for dinner?

Nothing. She's dead.

What time does Wimbledon start?

Tennish

Oc Jokes More Oc Jokes

Why was the woman so attached to her Dr. Scholl's gel insert?

OC It was her sole comfort.

Who was Mr Rogers' weight lifting coach?

Arnold Schwarzeneighbor (OC)

Sleigh Jokes More Sleigh Jokes

What does Santa call it when Mrs. Claus gives him road head?

Getting sleighed.

Why do Russians celebrate Christmas on the 7th of January?

Cause eight reindeer and a sleigh are a lot quicker than 6 pigs and a stoneboat.

December 21st Jokes More December 21st Jokes

Why was Mrs. Clause's stocking full on December 21st?

Because Santa came early this year.

What Johnny Mercer song does December 21st remind you of?

Autumn Leaves.

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

What disease do police give black people?

Glock coma

Why couldn't the police arrest the robber on the second floor?

Because he took the stairs.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

Whats long and black and hard to cut into?

The line at KFC

What qualifies you to be a ninja?

Ninja: I just cut your head off. Boss: That's pr--*thump*