Napoleon Jokes

Why was Napoleon's last name Bonaparte?

He didn't have any ligaments

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What is the big hairy thing between Napoleon's legs?

His horse Marengo

What could have been the most stuppidest result of Napolleonic wars if France won?

Tsar Napoleon.

Why don't people name their kids 'Napoleon'?

It's too complex

Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies

Why didn't Napoleon qualify for the urgent marrow transplant?

They couldn't get his bonepart

Which real-life dictator was the most fun?

Napoleon BonaPARTAY!!!

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

IN HIS SLEEVIES! Best used with little kids, or followed by maniacal laughter.

What is the difference between Napoleon and his son?

One is a Bonaparte from the other.

What did Napoleon say on the rollercoaster?

Ouiiiiiiii!

What kind of bathroom does Napoleon use?

A Waterloo

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What did Napoleon have up his sleevies?

His armies!

Why did Napoleon return from exile?

He needed more Elba room.

What did Napoleon say about the chopped up body?

I wanna Bone a part

Why didn't Napoleon get his wish?

Because he couldn't pull the wish Bonaparte.

Why did Napoleon wear sleeves?

For his armies

Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

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Who ruled France until he exploded?

A: Napoleon Blownapart!

What happened to the Russians and Austrians at Austerlitz?

They got Napoleon Blownapart! Happy 200th Anniversary of Waterloo everyone!

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What do bulls do for fun?

Play with others.

What do mathematicians read for fun?

conics

Waterloo Jokes More Waterloo Jokes

What happened to the Russians and Austrians at Austerlitz?

They got Napoleon Blownapart! Happy 200th Anniversary of Waterloo everyone!

What kind of bathroom does Napoleon use?

A Waterloo

Battle Jokes More Battle Jokes

What happens in a battle between storm troopers and red shirts?

Star Trek) The storm troopers all miss, and the red shirts all die

How did the aquarium win the battle?

Giant Fish Tanks.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How do Chinese people name their kids?

They throw silverware down a flight of stairs....ting, tong, ping, ding

How do Alabama parents teach their kids to put on their underwear?

Yellow in the front, brown in the back.

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

Who are all these people Twitter wants me to follow?

Has the fail whale been stalking me. Help, stranger danger!

What do you call a vampire, that follows the rules?

Draculaw

Little Kid Jokes More Little Kid Jokes

What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?

My donation check to the orphanage.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a paper bag?

One is made of plastic and is very dangerous for little kids to play with. The other carries groceries.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Who would won in a wrestling match?

Lemmy or God? Trick question, lemmy is god... R.I.P. Edit* win not won damnit...

Why has Mexico never won olympic gold?

All those who can run, jump and swim are in Texas.