Napoleon Jokes

Why was Napoleon's last name Bonaparte?

He didn't have any ligaments

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What is the big hairy thing between Napoleon's legs?

His horse Marengo

What could have been the most stuppidest result of Napolleonic wars if France won?

Tsar Napoleon.

Why don't people name their kids 'Napoleon'?

It's too complex

Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies

Why didn't Napoleon qualify for the urgent marrow transplant?

They couldn't get his bonepart

Which real-life dictator was the most fun?

Napoleon BonaPARTAY!!!

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

IN HIS SLEEVIES! Best used with little kids, or followed by maniacal laughter.

What is the difference between Napoleon and his son?

One is a Bonaparte from the other.

What did Napoleon say on the rollercoaster?

Ouiiiiiiii!

What kind of bathroom does Napoleon use?

A Waterloo

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What did Napoleon have up his sleevies?

His armies!

Why did Napoleon return from exile?

He needed more Elba room.

What did Napoleon say about the chopped up body?

I wanna Bone a part

Why didn't Napoleon get his wish?

Because he couldn't pull the wish Bonaparte.

Why did Napoleon wear sleeves?

For his armies

Where does Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

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What do you call souvenirs from the last battle of the Napoleonic wars?

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Whichever you'll excel in, son."

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What military branch has the largest biceps?

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What's the difference between a jar of mayonnaise and France?

If you leave the jar alone for 200 years it'll develop a culture.

Why are there no bungalows in France?

Because the French have many flaws

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What do you call a bad Russian pool player?

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What do they tell Soviet children who want to achieve their dreams?

Shoot for the Tsars.

What could have been the most stuppidest result of Napolleonic wars if France won?

Tsar Napoleon.