Nightclub Jokes

Why are there no nightclubs on Venus?

They shut down because they had a toxic atmosphere

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Why didn't the number 4 get into the nightclub?

Because he is 2 square.

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Terrorist Jokes More Terrorist Jokes

What do you call a terrorist with cancer?

A free radical.

How do you spot a terrorist?

They'll freak out when they hear a helicopter

Venus Jokes More Venus Jokes

Why has Venus been so distant lately?

Mars answers "shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"

What do you call Venus Williams' collection of Pokemon?

The 'mons of Venus.

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

Why do heroine addicts rarely have meetings late in the afternoon?

Because it's dangerous to shoot for 3 or even 4.

Why are Muslim men allowed 4 wives?

Because "Islam gives women equal rights!"

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

How do you call a black man flying a plane ?

A pilot.

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of planes?

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

Why are boxers never late to their fights?

Because they have developed very good punch quality.

What's worse than fighting an uphill battle?

Getting to the top and realizing it's all downhill from there.

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

A right a right a right!

What did the farmer say about his missing vegetables?

Lettuce pray they turnip.

Blow Jokes More Blow Jokes

Why can't a Samsung be disguised as an iPhone?

Because eventually, its cover would be blown.

What did one deer say to the other after leaving the bar?

I can't believe you just blew 50 bucks in there

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What game are you watching?

I wonder what she thought I was doing with my hands.

What does a cat say when you tread on its tail?

ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...