Parking Jokes

Why do women live on average two years longer?

Because the time they spend parking doesnt count.

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Why did Nobelium's car got towed away?

He parked at a parking!

Why are women bad at parking?

Because they've been lied to all their lives about how long "8" inches is.

Why are women so bad at parking?

Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.

Why doesn't Santa have to pay for parking?

Because it's on the house.

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Why does pasta always have to pay so much for car insurance?

Because it can't drive a car without making it all denty.

What do you say when a singer/songwriter poops on your car?

CELINE WUT R U DION

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What do a redneck divorce and a burning meth lab have in common?

Someone's losing a trailer.

What's a Tennessee tornado and a Texas divorce have in common?

Someone's gonna lose a trailer.

Michael J. Fox Jokes More Michael J. Fox Jokes

What did Michael J. Fox's dad say when Michael J. Fox tried to parallel park?

Watch the Parking son."

How do you turn a cobra into a rattlesnake?

Give it to Michael J Fox

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What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?

It gets toad away

What happened when the frogs car broke down?

It got toad

Soap Opera Jokes More Soap Opera Jokes

How can you tell soap operas are fictional?

In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?

Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

Selfie Jokes More Selfie Jokes

What do you call something that you do to your self with one hand?

A Selfie!

What do you call a theme park where people go to have selfies with chickens?

Pout-ry farm..

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Why didn't Michael J Fox order food at McDonalds?

He got the shakes instead.

What's the difference between LinkedIn and McDonald's?

McDonald's knows how to use salt

Parallel Jokes More Parallel Jokes

What is the proper way to parallel park?

Park somewhere else.

What did Michael J. Fox's dad say when Michael J. Fox tried to parallel park?

Watch the Parking son."