Permission Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

How many trans women does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but first they have to sit in the dark for a year and then get letters from two electricians giving them permission.

What do you call a sick bird of prey that enters the country without permission?

An ill-eagle

Why did the Islamic woman die when she fell into the ocean?

She thought to yell for help, but her husband was nowhere around to grant her permission to do so.

What do you call a drunk executioner?

A dun-GIN keeper. Edit: You have my permission to post this on r/dadjokes

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Enter Jokes More Enter Jokes

What's that one room zombies can never enter?

the LIVING room

How does one enter a brothel in Westeros?

Through the Hodor

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What's the best thing about having insomnia?

Only one nights sleep til Christmas!

What do crack addicts sing while caroling?

All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why did Michael Bay jump off a bridge?

Cause Tony Scott did it first.

Why isn't Mexico in the Summer Olympics?

Everyone who can run, jump, and swim are already over here.

Prey Jokes More Prey Jokes

Why are mosquitos religious ?

They prey on you !

What do you call a bird of prey with high intelligence?

A falcon genius.

Con Jokes More Con Jokes

What's the best thing about a poet in a prison?

Oh you know, it has its prose and cons. Badum Tish. Be gentle, first time here.

What's the difference between a successful bank robber and one who ends up in prison?

One's a pro, and one's a con.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do Wolverine and Bruce Jenner have in common?

They are both X-Men

What do you call a man with a colander on his head?

COLIN! Duh!!!

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb.

How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs they screw in dirty sleeping bags.

Ill Eagle Jokes More Ill Eagle Jokes

What do you call a sick bird of prey that enters the country without permission?

An ill-eagle

What do you call a sick bird who has crossed a national border without consent?

An ILL-EAGLE! 2X COMBO