Presidency Jokes

Who do you see winning the presidency in 4 years?

I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision.

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What do you call a show about The Donald winning the presidency?

Orange is the New Black

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a cow and the crucifixion?

You can't milk a cow for 2000 years

What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

One less drunk.

4 Year Jokes More 4 Year Jokes

Why did the Soviets implement 5 year plans instead of 4 year plans?

Cuz they were stalin'!

How many believable competent "just right for the job" presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: It's going to be a dark 4 years isn't it

Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

How bacteria stay in contact while they're in jail?

They exchange cell numbers.

What's black and brown on the inside and blue and white on the outside?

Jail

Minion Jokes More Minion Jokes

Who is a Minion's favorite politician?

First ever president of Zimbabwe, President Banana

What is Minion's favourite brand?

Banana RepublicBANA

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Where's Jim?

He went M.I.A. *Cut to Jim* All I wanna do *bang bang bang bang* *reloading noise* And shoot enemies

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Elect Jokes More Elect Jokes

How did the U. S. elect an Orange as president?

Gerrymandarin.

What do you call a dog who got re-elected for mayor?

A dog with pawlitical experience.

Russian President Jokes More Russian President Jokes

What's the difference between the US and Russian Presidents?

US presidents get shot while Russian presidents take shots.

What do you call it when the Russian president sits on a box of crackers?

Putin on the Ritz

House Jokes More House Jokes

What did Russians used to light their houses with before candles?

Electricity.

What do women and hand grenades have in common?

When you pull the ring off, your house goes away