Profession Jokes

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like jokes. But opticians like them .

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

What was the first profession to go all digital?

Proctology.

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

What do you call it when someone relies on sleep studies for a profession?

a rem job

What profession does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Driver

What profession did the parrot get into when it swallowed the clock?

Politics

What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke?

Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea

Why would you name your human child Hunter?

Hunter is a profession. That's like naming your kid Dentist.

You might also enjoy:

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What do you call a joke that is based on a misunderstanding?

Ironic

What jokes do you know that can only be understood if you know two (or more) languages?

Like a joke that involves a pun on a word that has different meanings in different languages. Please tell us what languages they are in.

Donkey Jokes More Donkey Jokes

What key opens a banana?

A monkey. What key opens a carrot? A donkey.

What does a donkey say?

It says "Hey Shrek, whats up?" (I was 9 when i made this okay)

Swallow Jokes More Swallow Jokes

What's the largest organ in the human body?

A:** That depends. If you've just swallowed a Steinway and a Wurlitzer, it's probably the Steinway.

What's the difference between spit and swallow?

A firm grip on the back of her head.

Driver Jokes More Driver Jokes

Why do golfers have the best chauffeurs?

Because they're good at picking their drivers.

Why should you never sit at the top deck of a double decker bus?

Because there is no driver up there.

Respect Jokes More Respect Jokes

Why in the hell do you have so much respect but I don't?

Cat: "You 'bow' while me 'owe'."

What animal do I respect most?

The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.

Ussr Jokes More Ussr Jokes

What did Gorbachev say when the USSR collapsed?

So ve it."

Why did the USSR have such a bad air force?

They kept Stalin.

President Jokes More President Jokes

Who is the president of the trees?

BarkOak Palma

What did the turkey say when he accidentally bumped into the president?

Pardon me.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know that a dog is a man's best friend?

Take your girl and your dog, and lock them in the back of a car, return in 5 hours, which one do you think will be happy to see you?

What's the difference between Helen Keller and Susan B. Anthony?

One doesn't know her place, the other can't find it.