Publish Jokes

Why couldn't the physicist get his paper published?

It was a work of friction.

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What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity?

Damn, son. It's about time!

Why did the pig send his story to New York?

He wanted to be published on Pork Avenue.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's black and white and can't turn around in a corridor?

A nun with a javelin in her throat. (The only joke I can ever recall when asked for one. Told to me by my art teacher in Grade 11. Needless to say, he was my favourite teacher)

How do mute people tell each others secrets?

They put on mittens.

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

What did the nihilist say to the physicist?

Nevermind, it doesn't really matter.

What do you get when you combine a blonde woman with a physicist?

A: Marie Curie

Theory Jokes More Theory Jokes

What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity?

Damn, son. It's about time!

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What would happen if pigs could fly?

Bacon would go up!

What do you call an undercover cop?

A pig in a blanket.

Einstein Jokes More Einstein Jokes

Why did Einstein marry his cousin?

It's all relative.

What happen when you put Einstein in a -20C clean room?

You get a solid-state frizzicist.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why do you hate me?

me any time someone tells me I have to sleep on a futon

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do with most of his time?

Stay up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

200 Jokes More 200 Jokes

What do you call 200 white men chasing a black man?

The PGA Tour.

What animal spins around about 200 times after it dies?

A rotisserie chicken

Author Jokes More Author Jokes

How did the author get from one plot point to the other?

A Segway. --any tweaks to make it better

What do authors do when they are being chased?

They make like Dr. Jekyll and Hyde!