V Jokes

What am I?

I start with a v and every woman has one. She can even use me to get what she wants. What am I? I'll post the answer in 10 minutes.

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Why should you never high-five a Roman?

They might give you Hi-V back!

Why were the Star Wars made IV, V, VI, I, II, III?

Because in charge of distribution, Yoda was.

Whats the V in DVD stand for?

Cuz if it were lying down it wouldnt make any sense. (first post to reddit, made up this joke today .. be kind)

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

When ducks fly in a V, why is one side of the V longer than the other?

A: There are more ducks on that side.

When birds fly in a 'V' formation, one arm of the V is usually longer than the other. Do you know why that is?

There are more birds on that side.

When you see geese flying to warmer a climate ever wonder why one side of the V is longer?

It's because that side has more geese.

What do you call a long vegetable that flies in a V?

asparagoose

When you are hit in the... - ball boy https://www.youtube.com/watch?

v=rMMFHcRSjR8

What starts and ends with a 'v' and is only one letter?

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What is the creepiest letter of the alphabet?

V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U.

When you see geese flying in V formation, have you ever noticed that one side of the V is longer than the other?

Well, there's a reason for that. There are more geese on that side.

When Geese fly in a "V" formation, do you know why one side of the "V" is longer?

There's more geese on that side.

Why is one side of the V always longer than the other when geese are flying south for the winter ?

It's because there are more geese on that side.

What is the question?

Does Wagner begin with a "V"

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Ello 'ello 'ello, you look 'armless, 'op in."

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leafs?

Russel

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

Why did Helen Keller scream?

Her parents left the plunger in the toilet.

What's the similarity between a burned pizza and parents?

If it's black it won't give you any food

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

Which duck will destroy the establishment?

None, ducks are not allowed in politics.

Why did the duck get arrested?

because he was smoking quack!

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

How do you find a dirty cop?

Call 911, it doesn't matter who answers

How many women are necessary to change a lightbulb?

One... but, what does it matter if she will ask a man to do it !

Feminist Jokes More Feminist Jokes

What are the similarities between a US handgun and a Feminist?

30 of them are triggered every second

Why do feminists hate Apple?

Because they're not PC.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

Whatcha making?

Mom: Dill bread. Me: So, do you have yeast on your dill dough Mom: Get out.

What did the baby say to its mom after breastfeeding?

Thanks for the mammaries!

Gravitational Wave Jokes More Gravitational Wave Jokes

What My Friend Said Once They Discovered The Existence of Gravitational Waves?

Friend: Good, now they will make microwaves that cook my chicken fingers faster. Say what now

What led to the discovery of gravitational waves?

A simple game of hopscotch: Me v. Yo Mama

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What's the same about Mexican and Black people?

Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal. (Sorry if you're offended, I love all races.)

Which dessert did Darth Vader order in the Mexican restaurant?

Helado oscuro!