Villain Jokes

Why does Willem Dafoe play a villain in a lot of movies?

Duh. Cause he's da foe.

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How do you die by heroin?

When you are the villain

How about if the villain is a psychopath out to make a skin suit?

Not in a kids movie, dude. "Ok, but it's puppy skin " - Oh, then YES!

Which villains steal soap from the bath?

Robber ducks.

Where do super-villains get their coffee?

DUN-DUN-DUUUNNNNkin Donuts.

Why don't Bond villains feel cold in the winter?

Because they dress in lairs.

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Dyke Jokes More Dyke Jokes

What happened to the little Dutch boy after he put his finger in the dyke?

she shattered his jaw!

What are they planning on calling the next die hard movie in which the main villain is a lesbian terrorist?

DYKE HARD

Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

What was Arnold Schwarzenegger's answer when asked which historical person he would like to play in a movie?

I'll be Bach.

What kind of movies do scurvy circles enjoy?

rated movies.

Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

What's the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle?

A tire

How do you know all Bernie Sanders' supporters are Harry Potter fans?

They all dress like Dobby.

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony?

The one who can bring his friends two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.

How are you doing this morning?

Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you

Willem Dafoe Jokes More Willem Dafoe Jokes

Why does Willem Dafoe play a villain in a lot of movies?

Duh. Cause he's da foe.

Who's the opposite of Willem Dafoe?

Willem DaFriend.

Psychopath Jokes More Psychopath Jokes

Where's the nearest cycle path you meant?

Thought you said psychopath.

How does an insane man get through the forest?

By taking the psychopath. hhhhehehhehe good one right? yeh? no..? ok.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What does Santa and Hackers have in common?

They both steal cookies )

Why do potheads only steal from other potheads?

Otherwise there's nothing worth toking.

Lair Jokes More Lair Jokes

Why don't Bond villains feel cold in the winter?

Because they dress in lairs.

How do dragons in Antarctica stay warm?

They always have several lairs.