How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's dad's best one-liner?

My wife."

What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

A: surname

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How did the violinist learn to play violin?

He just started fiddling with it.

How do they count the Mexican immigrants?

They start with Juan

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why are a lot of Italians named Tony?

Because as they got on the boat to leave Italy, they were stamped on the head, "TO NY".

Why didn't Edward leave Russia?

Cause he was snowden.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

Why does Luke Skywalker never have trouble getting laid?

Because he always uses the force.

What's green and lays in a ditch while covered in cookie crumbs?

The Girl Scout that got hit by a car.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What does a burning Mexican farm smell like?

Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico , and how the smell reminded him of tacos.

Why did the dyslexic man have slime on his face?

Because I told him a good joke.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What can relax you and drown you at the same time?

A one-hour facial.

Why didn't the mentally challenged kid finish his math test in time?

Because he was too slow.

Dish Jokes More Dish Jokes

Why did God invent women?

You think he's gonna wash the dishes

What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?

I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.

Pile Jokes More Pile Jokes

What do you call a man under a pile of leaves?

Russell. What do you call a man under a pile of leaves for thousands of years Pete.

How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!