How do you put a condom on a elephant?

You take the c out of ice and the f out of weigh.

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Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What's the difference between a bluebird and a elephant?

They both have wings, except for the elephant.

When do elephants have eight feet?

When there are two of them.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

Why do they make condoms with ribs?

So you can get traction in the mud.

Why don't catholics wear condoms?

Because little boys can't get pregnant.

F Jokes More F Jokes

How'd family dinner go?

ME: Huge mess to clean. F: It's spotless! M: *sprays luminol* You'd never know they were even here.

How do you get a dead turtle to flip itself back over on its feet?

You take the letter F out of way.

C Jokes More C Jokes

Why did the blind man's alphabet soup only have 25 letters in it?

Because he can't "C"

Which of these three does not belong: (A) a lobster, (B) a flounder, or (C) a Korean man who has just been run over by a bus?

The answer is (B) a flounder. The other two are crushedAsians.

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

What does Batman put in his beverages?

Just ice.

What does Batman take with his drinks?

Just ice

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

What gets easier to pick up, the more it weighs?

Women

Where do they weigh whales?

At the whale weigh station of course.