How much is half of 8?

Pupil: Up and down or across Teacher: What do you mean Pupil: Well up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What do dads never forget to include in their "dad" jokes?

PUNctuation Okay, I'll leave.

What did the Men's Right's Activist say when he left his piano out in the rain?

MUH SOGGY KEYS!

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

What did the confused Mackem say when he discovered that he was smack bang in the middle of Newcastle?

I'm in the middle of *no Wear*

Why can't a dog clap in the middle of a movie?

Because it keeps hitting pause.

0 Jokes More 0 Jokes

What did the 0 say to the 8?

Nice belt."

Why do you have 0 viewers on Twitch?

Because not even Nightbot is watching you.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

Where do people go when they die?

Me: Heaven. 3: I don't want to go there. Me: Why not 3: It's full of dead people.

Who else does this?

1. wets toothbrush 2. puts toothpaste on toothbrush 3. wets toothbrush again 4. does backflip on to huge pile of money

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

When someone says something was made with "love" what exactly does that mean?

Did they jerk one off into the center of my cupcake

What is 0.1 as a fraction?

One tenth " Good, now what does 10% mean "Battery low, plug in your phone " Perfect

Teacher Jokes More Teacher Jokes

What do you call a teacher that doesn't fart in public?

A private tooter

Which kid is yours?

Me: I don't have kids. I just heard the teachers here are hot. T: M: How you doin'

Pupil Jokes More Pupil Jokes

Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?

Pupil: I expect it's around Hadrian's garden miss!

When was Rome built?

Pupil: At night. Teacher: Why did you say that Pupil: Because my Dad always says that Rome wasn't built in a day!

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What is the easiest way to make a banana split?

Cut it in half.

What does Michael Jackson and j.c. penny have in common?

Little boys pants half off.