What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant ?

I'm not sure but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses !

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Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

How is my wife doing?

Doctor: I'm so sorry. The accident has left her in a vegetative-like state and I don't think she'll ever recover. She can barely move her limbs, if at all, and will be confined to a bed or wheelchair without the ability to ever walk again. You'll need to care for her 24/7, clothe her, feed her, bathe her, and she'll have no control of her bladder or bowels. Again, I'm so, so, sorry... ..... ..... ..... Just kidding! She's dead.

What do you call a patronising scam artist, walking down stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a black and asian man?

slightly racist) A car thief that can't drive.

What do you get when you cross a stoner with a halo nerd?

Masterchief

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What happened when the elephant sat on the car?

A: Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!

Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow?

So that he didn't fall in the hot cocoa.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What do you call a race run by baristas?

A **decaf**alon

Why would Target be the worst store to run the Enterprise?

Because they all wear red shirts

Ceiling Jokes More Ceiling Jokes

How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?

Strap a steak to the ceiling

What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already?

Mistress: Are you done yet Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...

Spider Jokes More Spider Jokes

Why are spiders so unproductive?

Because they hang out on the web all day!

Why was the spider inside the Computer?

He was looking for a webpage!

Collapse Jokes More Collapse Jokes

What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

What did the Mexican say when his house collapsed on him?

Hey, get off me homes !