What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?

I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

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Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

What excuse did the unemployed cellist give for going dutch with his date?

He's flat Baroque...

How does a chef ask to leave the dinner table?

He says, "Gourmet I be excused?"

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

How many guys does it take to open a beer?

None, it should be open when she brings it to you.

Why do ghosts get invited to parties?

Because they always bring boos.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What did the black kid with diarrhea say to his mom?

Help! I'm melting!

What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails?

A retail store.

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

What separates the men from the apes?

The Mediterranean Sea.

Why do Apes like tall buildings?

They want to climb the heights of the business world!

Beast Jokes More Beast Jokes

What do you call a beast made entirely from egg whites?

A Meringue-u-tang!!! Note: I know it's spelled Orangutan. :P

What is 667?

The neighbor of the beast.

Abduct Jokes More Abduct Jokes

Why do aliens only abduct white people?

Because they are easier to see in the dark.

What excuse does an Ape give for abducting a pretty girl?

I can't help it - she brings out the beast in me!

Pretty Girl Jokes More Pretty Girl Jokes

Why's a pretty girl like you sitting all alone?

Me: I peed my pants.

How many pretty girls are there at a monastery?

Nun.