Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How did the Frenchman get turned on?

He French-kissed a power outlet

How many idiots does it take to change a light bulb?

Five - one to hold the bulb, and four to turn his ladder

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones?

I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones

Why did Xmen's Cyclops go to the doctors?

Because he needed laser eye surgery!

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

What does a member of the British Royal Family say when they are reaching climax?

I"m arriving, I'm arriving."

Why did Yoda need a stepladder in the chocolate shop?

Because he was reaching for a galaxy far, far away.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why should you never buy golf equiptment made in New Jersey?

Because New Jersey drivers are terrible

Why shouldn't you buy Russian underpants?

Because Chernobyl fallout.

Soda Jokes More Soda Jokes

Why did the Dictator ban Soda?

Because there couldnt be 2-liters.

Why does pushing my finger against a bottle of Pepsi make me sad?

Because it's soda pressing.

Receipt Jokes More Receipt Jokes

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

Why did Cher go nuclear when the shopkeeper didn't give her the receipt?

Cher-No-Bill

Wad Jokes More Wad Jokes

What did the cashier say after handing down a wad of currency to Dracula?

Count Dracula."

Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them?

I did! Well here's the elastic band.

Cash Jokes More Cash Jokes

How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry we closed 18 seconds ago and I've just cashed up."

What do you say about a pig who acquires a lot of cash?

He's making bankon.