Advice Jokes

What was the desert's piece of advice?

Gobi yourself

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What advice would you give to a fish?

Stay in school and keep up with current affairs.

Why should you never trust advice from a group of gryphons?

Half of them are lyin'.

What advice did the frog give to the condom manufacturer?

Rib it.

What's the best part about taking advice from r/relationships ?

You'll never have to worry about being in a long-term relationship.

Why do single women take advice from other single women?

That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions

What advice to cows give?

Turn the udder cheek and mooooove on!

What advice does Jay Leno receive when sad?

Chin up pal.

Who would you ask for advice about a lion?

a lion or a gerbil The lion, because by virtue of being a lion, a lion is an expert on lions.

Never take advice from electrons.

They are always negative.

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Whatcha Jokes More Whatcha Jokes

Whatcha doing on the PC?

Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT ! D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.

Whatcha doing?

Me: "Going on twitter to hang out." H: "Twitter is an app, not a place." Me: *whispers venomously* "Is too a place!!"

Worry Jokes More Worry Jokes

What is a diss track?

Don't worry about it u prune gash

How do you know you're talking to a pilot?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

I'm Jokes More I'm Jokes

What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?

I'M BREADY TO DIE"

What did one fish say to the other during the race?

I'M GOING TILAPIA!!!

Ba Dum Tsss Jokes More Ba Dum Tsss Jokes

How do bovines do math?

They use a cow-culator! Ba-dum-tsss!

Why did spider-man cross the road?

To get to the *web*site !! *ba-dum-tsss*

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

Where do frogs leave their hats and coats ?

In the croakroom !

What kind of condoms do frogs wear?

Rib-bed

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

How do you choose a stupid policeman from a group of policemen?

At random.

Why do groups of birds always seem so shady?

cuz they're always flockin' around

Get Jokes More Get Jokes

How many teamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

19 . Got a problem with that?

What did Sonic the Hedgehog say during Ramadan?

Gotta go fast!"

Stevie Wonder Jokes More Stevie Wonder Jokes

How did Stevie Wonder meet his wife?

On a blind date

What's black and screaming?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.