Budget Jokes

What do you call a budget that's cut short from the middle?

A midget.

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Why was the accountant constipated?

He couldn't budget.

What is a Budget?

A: An orderly system for living beyond your means.

Why couldn't the accountant keep his car in working order?

Because it broke down and he couldn't budget.

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Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

What do you call a girl who stands in the middle of a bowling alley?

Elaine

What do you call a dog in the middle of a muddy road ?

A mutt in a rut !

Constipate Jokes More Constipate Jokes

How do you say constipated in german?

Farhfrumpoopin'.

What do mathmeticians do when they are constipated?

Work it out with a pencil

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb?

Four - three to cut a hole in the roof and one to change the bulb.

What makes a barbershop quartet sound so amazing?

They're on the cutting edge of musical innovation.

Midget Jokes More Midget Jokes

How many midgets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'd be surprised if you could fit two in there

What do you call a midget with leprosy?

A leperchaun!

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What would have to break to give you 18?

a condom

Why did the thoroughbred break up with the wild horse?

Because she was looking for a stable relationship.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

What's common between Canadians and Belgians?

They're mostly really nice people, but they have the French living there too.

What do you call a singing goat that lives by the sea?

Billy Ocean

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall ?

Ulta Magnus!

What do you call a dad that works at a grocery store?

Baghdad

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

When is a car like a frog ?

When it's becing toad !

Why did the chicken get run over by a car as it was crossing the road?

To get to the Other side