Colour Jokes

What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.

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What did the colours red and violet say to one another when they couldn't agree in their debate?

I guess we're just on different ends of the spectrum.

What colour is eight?

Purple (According to my 3 year old son)

What do you get if you put four economists in a white room and ask them what colour the walls are?

Four different answers

What colour are my eyes?

Guy: 34C.

What happens when you drink food colouring?

You dye a little on the inside.

How are you related to the sun?

Because your teeth are the same colour as it.

What kind of ant can you colour with ?

A crayant !

Why are the sheep in Africa coloured pink?

The elephants are using them as tampons

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops?

So they can tell if they are going to work or going home while on the bus.

How do you get a New Yorker upset about ISIS terror attacks?

Tell them ISIS are Red Sox fans.

Similarity Jokes More Similarity Jokes

What is the similarity in between a dark joke and food?

Not everyone gets it

What's the similarity between a spanish prison and Leonardo DiCaprio?

Now, both have an oscar.

China Jokes More China Jokes

How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

None. According to Trump, they outsourced it to India & China.

How Long is a battleship. True or false?

False. How Long is a man from China.

3 Year Old Jokes More 3 Year Old Jokes

Why did the 3 year old go to jail?

For resisting a rest.

What sound do dogs make?

3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

Which phone??

Person 1 : Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2 : Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1 : So what about summers then? Person 2 : Same, it freezes often as well

What do you call it when someone resuscitates a person who chokes on alcohol?

La chaim-lich maneuver.

Accord Jokes More Accord Jokes

How many times should you try starting your snowblower before you realize it's not going to start?

According to my neighbor it's 458 times.

What do you get when you wreck a Honda Accord into a Saturn Ion?

An Accordion. ...I'll, uh, see myself out.

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

Why is the new Zork game rated M for mature?

I guess it's too grue-some.

Why did Gandhi lose the race?

I guess he got his fasts mixed up.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the M&ampM 's go to college?

Because they wanted to be smarties.

Why did the cat join the Red Cross ?

Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit !