Handicap Jokes

What do retards wear on their heads?

Handicaps

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Why should transgender people get separate bathrooms?

There's already handicapped stalls.

Why do handicapped people wear shoes?

Because if they didn't their local gas station would turn a blind eye.

What's the most important part of a vegetable's golf stats?

The handicap.

What do you say to a handicapped dog?

Stay"

What do women and parking spots have in common?

All the good ones are already taken, and the available ones are either pay or handicapped.

Why isn't there golf in the Paralympics?

Because it would be really awkward asking what their handicap was.

What kind of laundry detergent do handicapped people use?

Downy. I apologize for this one, it's pretty mean. I really do sympathize with handicapped people.

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Performance Jokes More Performance Jokes

What is the difference between a magician and Bernie Sanders?

The magician returns your wallet at the end of the performance

What do you call group of mentally handicapped kids at a performance of "Peter Pan"?

Slow Children At Play

Math Test Jokes More Math Test Jokes

Why did the baseball player fail at the math test?

He used base 3.

Why didn't the mentally challenged kid finish his math test in time?

Because he was too slow.

Park Jokes More Park Jokes

What did the lead singer of The Prodigy say to the guy parking his Mini Cooper?

Back my Smitch Up!

How can you tell if a dinosaur is visiting your house?

His tricycle will be parked outside.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What kind of people should you stay away from?

Trees. They're quite shady.

Why are there fences around graveyards/cemeteries?

Because people are dying to get in!

Important Jokes More Important Jokes

What's the most important part of making a Mexican joke ?

Making sure that no Juan hears you.

What's the most important part of a Taliban joke?

The execution!

X Jokes More X Jokes

What did the x-axis say to the y-axis?

This is my domain

How many X does it take to lightbulb?

Karma?

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why did the snowman get fired from his job?

He was a snow call, snow show.

Why was Bob Marley fired from being a tennis announcer?

Because he kept calling "One Love"

Handicap Spot Jokes More Handicap Spot Jokes

Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?

So they can park in the handicapped spot.

When is the only time you can park like a retard?

In a handicapped spot.