Huge Mess Jokes

What do you get when you put a number 1 and a number 2 on your calculator?

A huge mess.

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How'd family dinner go?

ME: Huge mess to clean. F: It's spotless! M: *sprays luminol* You'd never know they were even here.

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F Jokes More F Jokes

How do you get an elephant across the freeway?

Take the "F" out of "free" and the "F" out "way". ... (there's no effin' way)

Why did Stephen get an A on his test?

He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

How do you make a hippopotamus float?

2 hippos and a LOT of root beer.

Why don't the French need air conditioner?

They use 2-in-1 shampoo

M Jokes More M Jokes

Why does Islam get angry if you criticize their religion?

Im not sure they always seem to blow things up out of proportion.

What a crazy weekend! Me: takes a knee CW: What are you doing?

M: Protesting this conversation.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

When Geese fly in a "V" formation, do you know why one side of the "V" is longer?

There's more geese on that side.

How do you know that a plane from the UK has landed?

An hour after its landed its still whining.

Clean Jokes More Clean Jokes

What did the computer technician say to the woman about her virus infected laptop?

Ma'am, we cleaned your dirty bits and suggest getting a bigger hard drive"

What do communists clean first when they do their laundry?

Their Linens

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

Why was 1 all salty?

Someone told him it was 2's day.

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

What do you call a number on drugs?

High Five

What did the number 1 say to (pi)?

Let's get rational you can't carry on like this!