Lend Jokes

What did the poor composer say to his friend?

I am baroque, can you lend me some money?

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What is the best way to lose money?

A: Lend it to Greece.

What do you call it when you lend money to a bison?

A Buffa-Loan!

What did Mark Antony say to Van Gogh?

Lend me your ears

What did the pope give up for lent?

His job.

Why shouldn't you lend a anthropologist money?

They consider a million years ago to be Recent.

Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money?

It's dangerous to let him put the bite on you!

Why wouldn't the frog lend his hammer to the mushroom?

Because it's a toad's tool.

Why can the Cornish always lend a hand?

They probably have a spare.

Who's there ! Celeste ! Celeste who ?

Celeste time I lend you money !

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Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

Why should you always refuse to lend an Ape money?

It's dangerous to let him put the bite on you!

What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?

Udder chaos!

Van Gogh Jokes More Van Gogh Jokes

Why did you cut off your ear?

Van Gogh: pardon

Why didn't the art thief get away?

Because he didn't have to Monet to pay the Guy to make the Van Gogh.

Mark Antony Jokes More Mark Antony Jokes

What did Mark Antony say to Van Gogh?

Lend me your ears

Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ?

He wanted Mark Antony !

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What is the best way to lose money?

A: Lend it to Greece.

What's the best way to get a youthful figure?

ANSWER: Ask a woman her age.

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

What happens when you double park your frogs?

They get toad!

What do you call a frog that jumps half the distance to its destination every time?

An asymptoad.

Greece Jokes More Greece Jokes

What is the capital of Greece?

More than the capital of the UK.

Which global disasters happen when you drop a roast turkey?

The downfall of Turkey, the break-up of China, and the overthrow of Greece.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why couldn't Jesus play marbles?

Because they kept falling through his hands.

How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

Ape Jokes More Ape Jokes

What happens if you cross an Ape with an octopus?

You get a fur coat with lots of sleeves!

What separates the men from the apes?

The Mediterranean Sea.