Literally Jokes

Why cant you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything

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Why are high school girls only 13, 15, or 17?

Because OMG, they like LITERALLY can't even.

What did the valley girl say when her pen ran out of ink?

I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN WRITE NOW

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Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why can't you trust anything MATTER says?

Because it makes up everything.

Why should you never trust a whale with your secrets?

They're huge blubbermouths.

Pun Jokes More Pun Jokes

What do you call a joke that includes a pun about weed?

OC High humor

Why was the kleptomaniac frustrated by that joke "why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

He couldn't take a joke.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None the keyboardist can do it with his left hand.

How many Heisenbergs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

If you know the number, you don't know where the socket is.

Dozen Jokes More Dozen Jokes

How do you get a dozen eggs out of a washing machine in less than a minute?

i'm serious... help.

How many mangoes make a dozen?

Six girls )

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How many flys does it to take screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

What do you do when your suicidal friend asks for a hi-five?

You leave him hanging....

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What did the terrorist say to the racist and the socialist?

We are the 2016 presidential candidate frontrunners. This is a joke take it that way

Why are there no Bruce Lee jokes?

Because Bruce Lee is no joke.

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

What religion do Saudi Arabian cows follow?

Mooslim

How do you find Will Smith in the winter time?

follow the Fresh Prints!

White Girl Jokes More White Girl Jokes

Why do white girls always walk around in groups of 3?

Because they can't even!

Why do white girls help fight heartburn?

Because they're so basic.