Crash Jokes

How many stockholders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why did some chemists go broke?

The bond market crashed.

What did the Japanese soda say to Papa John after he crashed his car?

I'm really sodie pop.

What did Mohammed Atta say to Larry Silverstein after the long flight?

Yo can I crash at your place?

Why did the people's phones stop working on the plane's that crashed into the twin towers?

They were in airplane mode. (I'm so sorry)

Who is he?

Crash Bandicoot God I miss this guy.

What is not a truck crashing into people?

Nice.

What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall?

Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)

What does Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashes?

Nothing.

Why did the blind guy crashed his car into another car?

Because he forgot to check his blind side.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and Windows 10?

Paul Walker only crashed once.

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Why did the rich guy crash his car?

He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends

What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

How is Islam like a GPS?

You may think you're on the right path, but if you follow it literally, you'll end up crashing into a building.

What object crashes the most?

A kaleidoscope!

Why wasn't the son of God worried when Microsoft Word crashed while he was writing his term paper?

Because Jesus saves.

What was the last thing that went through Lady Diana's head, moments before the crash?

Car battery

Why don't we let Google Chrome drive?

Because it crashes all the time.

What's Paul Walker's favorite energy drink???

N.O.S. too bad he can't handle the crash...

Why did Bruce Jenner crash his car?

Because she's a woman.

What was the last thing that went through JFK Jr's mind when his plane crashed?

The console. What was JFK Jr's wife drinking when the plane crashed? Ocean Spray.

What do you call a reptiloid that crashed landed its spaceship?

Imsosaurus!

Why did Bill Nye crash his car?

Because inertia is a property of matter.

Why did the drunk fall asleep at the wheel?

He needed a place to crash.

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

What do you do if your video card driver keeps crashing?

Take away it's drivers license.

What happened when Red-Beard's ship and Blue-Beard's ship crashed into each other?

They were MAROONED!

What happened when the blue ship crashed into the red ship?

The crews got marooned

Why did nVidia built the first self-driving car?

on all conditions) Because their drivers keep crashing.

What do you get when you cross a pig with a billy goat?

A crashing bore.

How do you get an Asian to crash their car?

Make the windshield full screen

Why did you crash into that stop sign?

Motorist: I was only following orders.

What did the tired pilot say to his crew?

I think I'm gonna crash

Why didn't the LoL champ care when she crashed her car?

Because it was Elise

What did one plane said to the other plane?

Can I crash at your place

What should you do if windows crashes cost you a lot of money?

A: You should bill Gates.

What do you call five black cars that all crash into each other?

A three car pile-up.

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit !

What do you call pigs in a demolition derby?

Crashing boars.

What do you call someone who crashes flying dinosaurs into buildings?

A pterrorist

What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?

A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks!

Why are so many Koreans named Park?

Because the ones named Drive all died in crashes.

Why did the wave fail the driving test?

It kept crashing on the beach.

How many stuttering Mexicans does it take to crash a server?

D--Dos

What do you call a pilot who tries to tell a joke but gets distracted and crashes his plane into a building?

A comickaze

Why did the leper crash his car?

He left his foot on the accelerator.

Why did the pilot crash the plane?

Because he was a slice of bread

How does it feel to crash a rental car?

It Hertz.

What's the difference between a Malaysia Airline flight and Internet Explorer?

None. Eventually, both of them are gonna crash.

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Coma Jokes More Coma Jokes

What was a doctors diagnosis of the victims involved in a pet van crash?

Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Chameleon

What do you feed someone in a coma from breakfast?

Coma-toast.

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

When does a pentagon not have 5 sides?

When it's intersected by a plane

What do you call a black guy that flys a plane?

A pilot, you racist!

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What was the car doing in the dressing room?

Changing attire.

What did the bro say to the bro who couldn't make it to the party because he didn't have a car?

Do you even Lyft

Chemist Jokes More Chemist Jokes

How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'

Why are chemists always a part of the problem?

Because they can never be a part of the solution.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

How is lightning like a violist's fingers?

A: Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

Why is it good that the Vietnamese man won first place?

It's a Nguyen-win situation.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What begins with an "s", ends with a "x" and leaves a guy blown away?

Semtex.

What did earth say to the other planets?

You guys have no life!

Japanese Jokes More Japanese Jokes

How do you tell a Japanese girl you're breaking up with her ?

You drop it on her twice.

Who's the founder of the Japanese Wikipedia?

Yojimbo Wales! (Joke stolen from co-worker)

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why did the kids with the fancy bus try so hard?

Fo' Frizzle

How many IT professionals does it take to change a lightbulb?

Have you tried turning it off and back on?