Coma Jokes

What was a doctors diagnosis of the victims involved in a pet van crash?

Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Chameleon

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What do you call a super soldier that is in a coma?

A genetically modified vegetable

What do you feed someone in a coma from breakfast?

Coma-toast.

How do you get a man in a coma hard?

Lick his Comatoes

What is both a fruit and a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What kind of fruit is also a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What award did the kid in a coma for six weeks win?

Atrophy.

What does gasoline taste like?

I don't know, I'm in a coma.

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Lick Jokes More Lick Jokes

Why do dogs lick each other?

Because they can't make a fist.

What does an envelope say when you lick it?

Nothing. It just shuts up.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you say to a guy with kidney stones?

Urine trouble!

What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine: Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day? He was basically addicted.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How do you know if your girlfriend is ticklish?

You give her a test-tickle.

What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.

Atrophy Jokes More Atrophy Jokes

What did the man get for winning the muscle relaxing contest?

Atrophy!

What did the winner of the not moving contest get?

Atrophy

Chameleon Jokes More Chameleon Jokes

Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color?

They had a reptile dysfunction.

Why wasn't Boy George any good at English?

because he always put 5 commas before chameleon.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

Why do women make better soldiers?

Because they can bleed for a week and not die.

How does Walter Palmer like his eggs?

Poached. Thank you, I'm here all week. EDIT: this got no upvotes and I don't think it deserved any

Disease Jokes More Disease Jokes

What disease do horses fear most?

Hay Fever!

What disease causes people to swear at the dinner table?

Gilles de la gourmette

Friendship Jokes More Friendship Jokes

What do you say when you friendzone a brony?

Friendship is magic.

What's the easiest way to end a friendship?

Just asking for a friend