Coma Jokes

What was a doctors diagnosis of the victims involved in a pet van crash?

Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Coma, Chameleon

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What do you call a super soldier that is in a coma?

A genetically modified vegetable

What do you feed someone in a coma from breakfast?

Coma-toast.

How do you get a man in a coma hard?

Lick his Comatoes

What is both a fruit and a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What kind of fruit is also a vegetable?

Elton John in a coma.

What award did the kid in a coma for six weeks win?

Atrophy.

What does gasoline taste like?

I don't know, I'm in a coma.

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Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why do trees have so many friends?

They branch out

What do you call a piece of pasta that doesn't have any friends?

Cannelonely!

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

What did the police say to the hot dog?

You are under arrest.

What happened to the wizard who ran away with the circus?

The police made him bring it back again.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

How do you castrate a guy from Kentucky?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

How do you stop a French tank?

A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it!

Visit Jokes More Visit Jokes

What were the Virgin Islands called, after Chuck Norris visited them?

The Islands

Why did the vegan zombie visit the coma ward?

Because it only ate vegetables.

Modify Jokes More Modify Jokes

What do you call a super soldier that is in a coma?

A genetically modified vegetable

What do you get when you cross an (italian) with a gorilla?

A retarded gorilla. (Can be modified to offend any nationality or group)

Vitamin Jokes More Vitamin Jokes

What kind... What kind of vitamins pirates take?

Vitamin "D".

Which vitamin best helps a pokemon breed?

PP Up.

Bill Cosby Jokes More Bill Cosby Jokes

Why doesn't Bill Cosby like women's flip flops?

because he can't lace them.

What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both know when you are sleeping.

Fruit Jokes More Fruit Jokes

Why was Jeffrey Dahmer so healthy?

Because he ate five fruits a day!

What do you call a fruit that won't get married?

A Cantaloupe.