Main Stream Jokes

How did the hipster drown?

By swimming in the main stream.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Why did the hipster salmon not get to breed?

He didnt use the main stream

How do you get a hipster to take a shower?

Give them a leaky showerhead. You know, so they can avoid the main stream.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

How do you find white shirts on the Internet?

Use a starch engine.

Maine Jokes More Maine Jokes

Why didn't the hipster want to see the Saint John River and the Penobscot River?

They're two Maine streams.

What state did the programmer start her road trip in?

Maine

Breed Jokes More Breed Jokes

What do you get when you breed an elephant with a rhino?

A visit from the university board of ethics.

What do you get if you breed a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist?

Willing suspension of disbelief

Avoid Jokes More Avoid Jokes

Why did the vegan avoid the confrontation?

He didn't want any beef.

What's a Cuban's favorite song?

Row row row your boat Over to Key West Scarily scarily scarily scarily Avoid the INS

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work?

He was expecting showers.

Why did the computer scientist die in the shower?

The shampoo bottle put him in an infinite loop.

Hipster Jokes More Hipster Jokes

Why don't hipsters live in Alaska?

Everything is cool there already.

How did the hipster die?

He drowned in the mainstream because he stood on it before it was cool.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How does a blind parachutist know when to pull his rip-chord?

The leash goes slack...

Why do Italians wear gold necklaces?

So they know where to stop shaving

Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

Why can't Ross & Phoebe ever drown?

Because David Schwimmer and Lisa Kudrow.

What do you call it when you drown a baby in soda?

Infantacide