Miss Piggy Jokes

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

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Why was Miss Piggy sick for her show?

There was a frog in her throat.

Why did Miss Piggy call in sick to work?

Because she had a frog in her throat.

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

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Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

What's the difference... ...between a piano, a fish, and glue?

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish "What about the glue " I knew you'd get stuck on that.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?

A stick. I'll see myself out now.

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What happened did someone try to break into your house?

Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk

What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?

A URLologist.

Piggy Jokes More Piggy Jokes

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100?

At 69 she always gets a frog in her throat.

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 70?

She got a frog stuck in her throat at 69.

69 Jokes More 69 Jokes

What's the square root of 69?

Ate something.

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 70?

She got a frog stuck in her throat at 69.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How do Filipinos count money?

One-a two-a three-a four-a another-a ...

What is WRONG with you?

Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything

Miss Jokes More Miss Jokes

Which vitamine are feminists missing?

D

What's the difference between most people and planes?

Most people miss the twin towers.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why are elephants so poor?

Because they work for peanuts

Which room will you be working out in?

Me: None of them, I just need to take a shower.

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

What's green and says "hey I'm a frog"?

A talking frog! Stolen from "Friends" still hilarious.

Why cant we interpret what frogs are saying?

They only speak in Morse-toad!