Piggy Jokes

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

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Why was Miss Piggy sick for her show?

There was a frog in her throat.

Why did Miss Piggy call in sick to work?

Because she had a frog in her throat.

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

Why cant Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 she ends up with a frog in her throat.

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100?

At 69 she always gets a frog in her throat.

Why did Mrs. Piggy's relationship fail?

She couldn't stand making Kermitments

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 70?

She got a frog stuck in her throat at 69.

Why was the centipede late ?

Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother !

Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar douche?

Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

What's green and smells like Ms. Piggy?

The Boston Celtics

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Why can't Ms. Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 she has a Frog in her throat.

Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork.

Where does David Cameron keep his hidden money?

In the Piggy bank

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What's the name of your former bank?

I said, "Piggy"

How high can Miss Piggy count?

68, because at 69 she gets a frog in her throat...

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

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What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?

Lil Caesars

Why do you like little kids...?

They have to use TWO hands.

Kermitment Jokes More Kermitment Jokes

Why did Mrs. Piggy's relationship fail?

She couldn't stand making Kermitments

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

How does a pirate reenact Travis Bickle's speech?

Are you talking to me?

Why didn't you talk to me about renting a bouncy house?

me stops jumping: You would have said no

Kermit Jokes More Kermit Jokes

What's green and furry and smells like pig?

Kermit the Frog's finger

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

Not Miss Piggy Jokes More Not Miss Piggy Jokes

Why cant Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 she ends up with a frog in her throat.

Why cant Miss Piggy count to 100?

Every time she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why do dogs chase their tails?

A: They want to make ends meet.

What does a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?

In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.

69 Jokes More 69 Jokes

Why does 71 like 68?

Because 68 69 70.

What's the most immature gaming console?

Ninutendo 69

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What did the black horse name its daughter?

Sha-neigh-neigh. Thought of it at work.

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)