Kermit Jokes

Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

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What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?

Nothing.

What are green and smell like pork?

Kermit's fingers

What's slimy, long and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog's Finger.

What's small and green and smells like pork?

Kermit's Finger.

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

What's long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit's finger

What's green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What's green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frog

What is green and smells like bacon?

Kermit's fingers

What's long, green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit the frog's finger

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What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon?

Kermit The Frog's fingers.

What's green, slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs finger (shoutout to Hesher)

What do Kermit The Frog'S fingers smell like?

Bacon.

What is long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What is green and slimy and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frog's finger...

What do you call Kanye dressed as Kermit?

I don't know, but it's not Yeezy being green.

Whats long and green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger.

What's slimy cold long and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs finger...

Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

What's Slimy, cold, green, and smells like pork?

A: Kermit the Frog's Finger

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII have in common?

Same middle name.

What's green, slimey and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger.

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork?

What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? Kermit the Frog's Finger!!

What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

What's Kermit the Frog's favorite song?

Whib It" by Devo.

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

What's green, slimy and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger

What do you have when you have two small, green balls in your hand?

Kermit's undivided

Why does Ms. Piggy use honey and vinegar douche?

Because Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.

How do frogs die?

They kermit sucide

What's green and furry and smells like pig?

Kermit the Frog's finger

What do Harry Potter and Kermit the frog have in common?

Hogwarts!

What's long, green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frogs fingers"

Why doesnt Kermit like elephants?

They always want to play leap-frog with him.

What do Kermit the Frog and David Cameron Have in Common?

They both like to pork.

What's green and smells like ham?

Kermit the frog's finger

Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork.

What's green, fuzzy, and stinks of pork?

Kermit the frog's finger

What do you have if you have one fuzzy, green ball in one hand and another fuzzy, green ball in the other hand?

Kermit the Frog's undivided attention.

How do frogs die ?

They kermit suidide !

Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

What do you get if cross a frog with some mist ?

Kermit the Fog !

What's long green and smells like pork scratchings?

Kermit the frogs finger.

Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants ?

They always want to play leap frog with him

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common?

They share the same middle name.

Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy?

He wasn't ready for a Kermitment.

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Slimy Jokes More Slimy Jokes

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

Why is the whole battalion yellow and slimy?

Me: I mustard the troops. General: ... Me: Just as you told me to, sir.

Frog Jokes More Frog Jokes

What does a frog say when it washes car windows?

Rub it rub it rub it.

What do you do for a frog with a belly ache?

Rubbit.

Kermit Finger Jokes More Kermit Finger Jokes

What is Green, Slimy, and smells like Bacon?

Kermit's finger.

What's green, slimey and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger.

Miss Piggy Jokes More Miss Piggy Jokes

Why did Miss Piggy call in sick to work?

Because she had a frog in her throat.

What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

Henry Jokes More Henry Jokes

What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common?

They share the same middle name.

How did Henry VIIIs wife enter the room?

Amble in (Anne Boyeyn) I made this joke up and am very proud of it :)

Middle Finger Jokes More Middle Finger Jokes

Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

Kermit the frogs middle finger.

Why did Tony cross the road?

To get to the other side. He then turned around, stuck up his middle finger and said, "Hah, you were all expecting a joke, and all you got was an Anthony joke!"

Throat Jokes More Throat Jokes

How high can Miss Piggy count?

68, because at 69 she gets a frog in her throat...

Why was Miss Piggy sick for her show?

There was a frog in her throat.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had ?

The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had !

Why can't Arabs manage the scoreboards at ball games?

Because people get nervous when Mohammad starts counting down from 10.