Nicolas Cage Jokes

What did Nicolas Cage say when his daughters grades came through?

Oh God, not the B's!

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Why is Nicolas Cage's radio so loud?

He doesn't know how to turn things down

What do you get when you cross Johnny Depp with Nicolas Cage?

Johnny Cage

What's the most messed up trap for Santa?

A Nicolas Cage.

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What is Santas motto?

Wrap your package before you shove it down the chimney.

Why does Santa's sled get such good mileage?

Because it has long-distance runners on each side.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Who else is watching and laughing their a$$ off?

Turns out Martha Stewart is a boss

How many people with OCD does it take to fix a lightbulb?

Only one, but they have to turn it on and off 50 times before they're sure it's fixed.

Johnny Jokes More Johnny Jokes

Why did little Johnny lose his ice cream?

He got his by a bus. My little brother just told me this!

Why did Johnny drop his ice cream?

Because he got hit by a truck!

Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

What did the messed up psychologist have for dinner?

Freud rice.

What did the tree say when it messed up?

A: It was an oakcident.

Oh God Jokes More Oh God Jokes

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

What did one coconut say to the other?

Oh my god a talking coconut!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you call an outdated joke that, while sharp, has little potential for laughs?

I used to know, but then I took an arrow to the knee

How do you know if someone was in the military?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

B Jokes More B Jokes

What did 'b' say to his friend 'e' after 'e' saved his life?

AY E! I O U edit: added Y

Why is this?

B: It's because your feet aren't empty.

Johnny Depp Jokes More Johnny Depp Jokes

What does Johnny Depp yell when a tree falls in the forest?

Timbuuuuuurrrrrrrrton!

What do you get when you cross Johnny Depp with Nicolas Cage?

Johnny Cage