Oh God Jokes

What did Nicolas Cage say when his daughters grades came through?

Oh God, not the B's!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did one coconut say to the other?

Oh my god a talking coconut!

What is that behind your ear?

Nice try, too old for the coin trick" "No it's a tumor" "Oh my god" "Kidding it's a quarter"

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

You might also enjoy:

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

What's the difference between a Twitter post and a Russian Novel?

A Twitter post is limited to 140 characters

Why did I join Twitter?

Well I was sick of only being hated by coworkers and family so I wanted to branch out.

Winter Jokes More Winter Jokes

How do you stay warm outside in the winter?

You just stand in a corner, they are usually around 90 degrees.

What did the Chinese man say when Winter came around?

Reddit snow, reddit snow, reddit snow!

Bacon Jokes More Bacon Jokes

How can you tell if someone loves bacon?

Don't worry, they'll tell you that stupid vegan joke.

What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did the busy tailor say to the Scarecrow who needed some mending?

I can't find the twine.

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of Helium?

HeHe

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why do Women get So Big when they're Pregnant?

To give their kids a wide birth.

What did Pat Benatar say to the kid throwing cereal at her?

Stop using Chex as a weapon!

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in a pile of leaves?

Rustle

What's a man idea of helping with the housework?

Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Why did the family not laugh at the Obstetrician's joke?

Because he screwed up the delivery...

What do paper towels call their family?

NapKIN

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do men die before their wives?

Because we want to!

What happens if you sing country music backwards?

A: You get your job and your wife back.