Mess Jokes

What does Reddit share in common with the real world?

A messed up system of karma

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why don't rabbits like beer?

Because it messes with their hops

Why did God give women legs?

Because he saw the mess that snails left behind!

What does the lord say when the intern messes up?

God demi

What happens when you throw a hand grenade into a kitchen?

Well, the mess is the same but the annoying jabbering stops.

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

What did the messed up psychologist have for dinner?

Freud rice.

What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part

What do funeral home staff do if they mess up transporting a body?

They go back and re-herse.

What's the difference between toilet paper and shower curtains?

If you answered "I don't know." I would like to tell you that I spent all day cleaning that mess up.

Who's there ! Answer ! Answer who ?

Answer all over your porch ! It's a mess out here !

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why is it called a "litter" of puppies ?

Because they mess up the whole house !

How do you mess with a blind person?

Leave the plunger in the toilet.

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

What did the tree say when it messed up?

A: It was an oakcident.

What do you call a blind, legless buck?

No eye-deer. EDIT: I totally messed this joke up. Please give me another chance with another joke

What's the most messed up trap for Santa?

A Nicolas Cage.

How many times I have to tell you to stop making such a mess?

Go to your room.."

Who Wants to be a Millionaire messes up while reading the question?

A Regis Error.

Why did the pig join the Army?

He heard the food was a mess.

Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?

First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare

Why you never mess with imported ants?

Because they are **important**.

Why is Bruce Wayne's hair messed up?

Because of his cowlick.

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Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What should you do if you see an epileptic having a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in a load of laundry, and soap

Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?

She threw out all the W's.

Hop Jokes More Hop Jokes

What did the bus conductor say to the frog?

Hop on.

Why don't rabbits like beer?

Because it messes with their hops

Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?

He was invited to thunday math.

What snake do get when cross a calculator with a steam engine?

A puff-adder

Neck Jokes More Neck Jokes

Who's there ! Anatole ! Anatole who ?

Anatole me you're a pain in the neck !

What do you want to work on today?

Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet

Reddit Jokes More Reddit Jokes

Why do Muslims hate Reddit?

Haram be everywhere

What did the troll say to the new user who accidentally made a repost?

Reddit already. Downvote.

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice?

Just tell me "enjoy the diarrhea" and I'll move along.

What pizza topping to Koreans enjoy the most?

Pupperoni

Camel Jokes More Camel Jokes

What do missiles, camels, and common fetishes have in common?

What " " -Toes." "Out. Just get out."

What's the spaciest kind of camel?

Andromedary

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

Why did Microsoft skip a number when naming their new operating system?

Because 7 ate 9.

How many Sand People does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

No one knows. They ride single file to hide their numbers.